The Idea

Navigating loneliness over the span of almost 14 years, I have learnt that it is a key part of who I am and although I struggle with it, it’s the realisation that travelling this journey of loneliness alone is what I can no longer do and that there is a key difference between being lonely and being alone. Lonely but not Alone For one of the most common experiences, it sure feels rare. It feels rare to not pinpoint the cause of this hopelessness. It feels rare to know more than one language yet feel a feeling I can’t quite articulate. I am the most social I’ve ever been, yet I feel so isolated. I found the love I dreamt of finding, yet I’ve never felt so desolate. I was selected for the job I wanted so badly, yet I’ve never felt so incompetent. I acquired the education I thought I’d never acquire, yet I’ve never felt so unaccomplished. I write to explore my thoughts but my words are the ones that overwhelm me. I cry to release my pent up emotions but my tears are the ones that tire me. I therapize my brain to get help me get better but it is therapy that confronts me. I seek people in the hopes they’ll understand me but it is them who criticise me. I thought I’d come to terms with the loneliness, it took reconnecting with my roots and an Urdu song to learn that I had some element of acceptance but it was traveling this journey of loneliness alone that I could no longer do.