The Idea

I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I started working about three or four years ago, joining a graduate program with the federal government. It seemed like the right step at the time, but I didn’t finish it—I moved on to another job.

I’ve always been passionate about improving communities and helping others, which is why I thought the government would be the right place for me. I believed my skills and values would fit perfectly in that environment, but I was wrong. The bureaucracy was suffocating, and the endless waiting for senior management to take action was maddening. It felt like I was stuck in a loop, watching time slip by while nothing changed.

What frustrated me even more was that my colleagues—both the senior ones and even the ones around my age—seemed fine with it. They were content with the stability, and I couldn’t understand why. I was angry. I was ready for action, but it felt like I was the only one who really cared.

So, I moved to the private sector, hoping it would be faster-paced, more dynamic. But even there, it didn’t feel right. It was a for-profit company, and something about working for “the man” didn’t sit well with me. I had expected more, but instead, I found myself still disillusioned.

As someone who is neurodiverse, it’s even more frustrating. There are so many unwritten rules, office manners, and etiquette that just don’t make sense to me. Every day feels like I’m playing pretend, trying to fit into a system that doesn’t come naturally. It’s exhausting.

The loneliness in all of this is overwhelming. I’m someone who cares deeply about making things better, about improving systems, yet it feels like workplaces just don’t share that same drive. It’s hard to be surrounded by people who don’t care, especially when you’re putting in so much energy yourself.

The office culture isn’t great either. I want to connect with people, to hear their stories and share my own, but I find that others prefer to keep to themselves. I get it—it’s okay—but it’s demotivating for me when no one seems to match my energy. I’m passionate and eager, but it feels like I’m alone in that. It’s hard to keep pushing forward when you don’t feel seen or heard.