The Idea

This piece was written during a time when I felt completely disconnected from the life that I thought I’d be living by now. At 23, I watched the people around me find their paths—graduating, starting careers, building lives with structure and direction—while I was just trying to hold myself together. I’d dropped out of uni, changed jobs more times than I could count, and felt like I was constantly searching for something solid to stand on. But nothing felt like it fit. I wasn’t just unsure of my future—I was unsure of myself. I didn’t know what I liked, what I believed in, or who I was beyond the survival mode I’d lived in for years. That’s where the loneliness really crept in. Not just being physically alone, but feeling like no one could see the version of me that was struggling to keep up. Like if I admitted I was lost, everyone would pull away even faster. Writing this helped me make sense of that foggy, stuck space. It was a way of reassuring myself: I may not have everything figured out, but I’m still here. I’m still trying. And that counts for something. If anyone else feels the same—uncertain, behind, like they’re floating through their twenties without a map—I hope this is a reminder that you’re truly not alone.