The Idea

Leaving home wasn’t my choice—it was more of a necessity. The decision came after an argument with my mum, one of those tense standoffs that left everything unsaid and a heavy silence hanging between us. She gave me the cold shoulder for days, and even before that, it felt like I was walking on eggshells every day. I didn’t know how to make it better, and honestly, I don’t think she did either.

I didn’t have much support elsewhere. My dad worked FIFO, always away, and my sister… well, she disowned me a while ago (but that’s a story for another day). I felt like I was on my own. My friends, who still lived at home, seemed to have these warm, easy relationships with their parents. Must be nice to have supportive families and friends.

At the time, I was dating a guy who lived out of home, and thankfully, I was able to crash at his place for a couple of months. It was a relief, even though I felt guilty about imposing. I didn’t want to overstay my welcome, especially with him and his roommate, so when the time came, I moved out. I found a room in student accommodation. It was cheap, easy to get, and felt like my only option. But it turned out to be a huge mistake.

The house was packed with individual rooms, maybe ten in total, all rented out. It felt like a cash grab more than anything else, but I couldn’t afford a full unit on my own—especially not as a uni student. The housemates were disrespectful, not respecting shared spaces, and it was exhausting dealing with the tension. I couldn’t handle the instability anymore, constantly moving between places, never quite settled. I missed the comfort of feeling like I belonged somewhere.

I tried to make new friends, but everyone was further out, and with all the changes going on in my life, it was hard to keep connections. So, after months of trying to hold it together, I went back to the family home. It wasn’t as bad as before, though. I think my mum had some empty nest syndrome or something because she was a little kinder. It didn’t fix everything, but it was a small relief.

Now, I’m living with my partner in our own unit, with our cat. Things have settled but even with that, there are new challenges, like buying a home. It’s confusing, frustrating, and sometimes, I feel lost again.